It´s currently 1:00 am in Sevilla, Spain and I´m up for one reason - well, to be totally honest, it´s because of a couple of reasons but one in particular - I got my story...
Laying down on my bed restlessly reviewing the past 3+ weeks of my travels alone, I realized one thing, I had no motivation to write what I had intended to begin writing the moment I returned home.
I thought that I´d had it all mapped out. My characters were well described and thought out. Their nuances, habits, and quirks outlined and vibrantly clear, the plot itself with the underlying goal and motives were decided and all in all it would´ve turned out to be a decent story that made sense.
Except that my heart didn´t feel it. If there´s one thing that I know about writing, one thing that creates a story beyond all other stories that captures and captivates people is that it is written from the heart.
Although, I would´ve forced all the heart I could´ve put into this original storyline, I felt wary and knew the challenge that faced me to write something that I felt only a small spark of interest in and unfortunately, I felt more doubt than I did spark. I tried to ignore the trouble that I felt at this revelation.
Which leads me to my current situation...tossing and turning on my bed, still nursing a cold, far, far away from home with one week left before I returned.
I felt nervous and anxious. I was worried for the work ahead of me trying to force life into a story that I wasn´t sure of.
But as I laid there, thinking of so many other things; the past months of my life, the short stories I´d written, the comments people have been giving...it hit me...and the story that I´d once thought I shouldn´t write or couldn´t write, came flaring back to life. Except this time, there were so many additional aspects and inputs that I wanted to include.
So here I am. Past 1:00 am wishing I were home so that I could begin sketching the outline of the story. I´ve begun to, in my black notebook, but only enough to remind myself of the specific details that I absolutely did not want to forget.
I can safely say that this trip has given me the story that I was hoping to get. Even if the story isn´t really from my travels - except I´m sure certain characters and personalities will come through in the individuals that make an appearance in the book - this trip has given me not only a momentus motivation but the real story that I want to write. A story that I know I can write.
I thank everyone for all the support you´ve given. I wouldn´t be here without you - my friends, my family, and especially Chris.
Thanks for reading. My journey is far from over, here in Spain (in fact I leave for Cordoba tomorrow morning). But I´m happy to have found what I was looking for...