Saturday, February 16, 2013

A Moment of Reflection: Dreaming of Sunset

I stopped halfway through my run to watch the sunset. @La Jolla, San Diego

I remember when I first started this blog. It was a little scary, and admittedly, it sometimes still is. At first, all I really wanted to do was chronicle the adventures I had abroad. It has grown to become so much more--to become a memoir of a sort--of my life for the past few years. I'm not sure if that's what I intended. It's been a wonderful escape, a refuge, and something that appeared to be the only thing constant in the midst of a life that was always unsteady--always shifting beneath my feet.

I don't entertain the fantasy that life is simple. Life is anything but. Nor do I wish for simplicity, for it's hardly in my nature to sit still and be given what I feel I must work hard to earn.

I think a lot about what motivates people--what makes them see the world the way they do and why they behave the way they behave. My quest to understand has only led to more questions unanswered. It's then that I realized: growing up is about not having all the answers--not even most of them. Life is about discovery, it's about making mistakes, getting lucky, and feeling the pain of being unlucky. It's about seeing sunset for the first time with eyes that truly recognize what it means to appreciate such beauty. To feel that aching pull in your chest that you realize is your heart beating, wondering what it is you did to deserve to see such magic. 

I'm a sucker for sunrises and sunsets. There's something indescribable in the feelings it brings forth. The colors: dirty rouge, dusky reds, and flaming licks of orange kissed by the dying glow of gold, creating a landscape that seems utterly surreal. The knowledge that this day is another day to begin anew, that all your troubles of yesterday are nothing but a choice: to relive or to enclose into a vault of memories untouched. Personally, I favor sunsets over sunrises. It feels like the release of a long sigh after a full day of holding my breath. It feels like saying goodbye to a friend--sometimes tearful, sometimes full of joy. It captures your attention, forces you to slow down, watch the light and lose yourself in the wonder that is life. 

I encourage you to slow down, to stop and just watch the sky. Breathe. Close your eyes and then open them again, and then thank God--thank the universe--you're alive. There's never a wish, never a moment better than this to embrace the very real fact that you are not guaranteed tomorrow. So stare at that sunset, watch it for all the seconds it has before it disappears, and pray you're given another day to watch it again. 

It's not often I get this philosophical or poetic on this blog. Maybe it's the glass of wine...I'm packing for  a week-long business trip to Singapore. Too many emotions fill me as I do this task for it represents a metaphorical sunset to a day where I'm filled with such deep appreciation for all that I've been given...

Keep dreaming, stay hopeful, and never lose yourself in the busy-ness that can so easily swallow up your days. You might find yourself waking up one morning to find a face unrecognizable, staring back at you wondering where your days have gone--the word "waste" tripping from your tongue, tasting bitter as you swallow back the weight of regret. So catch that next sunset and let time slow. Embrace the pull of a promise for a new day ahead, and find some meaningful way to express your gratitude when it comes. 

~Anna 

2 comments:

  1. Ahhh you're right; this was lovely to read. I just wrote a post on the sky-- all its moods and how it touches me. I love sky images. Just the calming respite I needed. :)

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    1. I do too! The colors I think are what captivates me the most. Makes me feel like I'm in a whole different world where I wish the sky could be pink, orange, and gold always. But then, I know I'd begin wishing for them to be blue. LOL

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