Saturday, March 9, 2013

Whatever Will Be, Will Be...


"When I was just a little girl
I asked my mother, what will I be
Will I be pretty, will I be rich
Here's what she said to me.

Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be." ~Doris Day

My busy travel season is finally over. I was able to put my luggage away and in the far back corner of my closet, where I am happy to not see it again for a long while. In the last month I've slept in my own bed only a handful of days, so you can imagine why crawling into a cave and hibernating sounds like heaven.


A carousel I stumbled upon in the Botanical Gardens of Geneva, Switzerland
I started this blog with the lyrics above because it's been dancing laps in my head like a lazy carousel. I once read a book that used these lyrics in the beginning of every decisive chapter that inevitably changed the course of the story. The story itself was pretty gruesome and dark, and it was the first time I realized how this song could be as haunting as much as it was wise and insightful.

It's only natural to ask what will become of our lives in the coming days, months, and years. And with this curiosity comes an instinct to map out a plan. When I was twenty-two, I thought by now that I'd be living a quiet life: married, waddling around, carrying a new life in my belly, sheltered behind the confines of the proverbial white-picket fence. It took a few months for me to heal over having ripped this "plan" off my back like chains embedded deep into my bones. But as my best friend likes to tell me, "I'm not crying for you, Argentina." I've got some pretty tough skin, which although embodies a more painful ripping means the scar that now covers it is even more rigid than the skin it had once been.

Wisdom comes in many forms, from elders and those we trust, and the rest from our own experiences. We tend to heed the wise words of those more worldly than us, but find our own experiences to be the truest, most effective teachers of life.

Don't confuse plans with dreams. Dreams are healthy; and most times unconfined, not limited by time or boundaries. Dreaming is like looking at the foggy bank of a lake at the cusp of sunrise, and knowing with the utmost certainty that when the fog clears and the sun finally rises, the vision will be breathtaking. Plans are oftentimes more solid, more confined, given clarity, bound by a timeline, and perhaps by it's very nature, less flexible.

When plans aren't met, we're slapped with grieving disappointment. I suppose the same can be said about our dreams--that when unmet, can lead to a saddening concession of our failure to be more than what we'd hoped we would become. I think it's about balance. It's about trust: in yourself and perhaps in a higher power. Trust that life won't fall apart if your plans or your dreams aren't met. Learn the value of flexibility and be open to evolving when change meets you; it will always come when you're least ready.

The following are words of wisdom I'm sure you've heard before: life is meant to be lived, not dreamt, and not planned. It's meant to be experienced with all of your senses. Taste it, smell it, breathe it, soak in the sight, and touch it as if it just might disappear and you'll always be left wondering what it might have felt like.

Balance.

Experience life in moments of slowness, and then in moments of hard, fast thrills. Stay curious for what lies ahead, but never in search for the answers with the unbending expectation you'll some day find them in the exact form you'd planned. Don't forget to smile, because life is a series of victories...

~Anna


2 comments:

  1. I love an Anna blog post! I quit trying to predict or plan for life. I have dreams, most of which didn't always see fruition, and sometimes there's an unexpected turn in life that leads to a path I didn't expect. I plan and then realize my plans are like eggshells-- easily broken and fragile. But even through the pains, I wouldn't trade life. It's good.

    Welcome home! :)

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    1. LOL Thanks Julie! So good to be back! :) I love the comparison of life-plans being like eggshells--easily broken. Brilliant! I too feel similarly: despite the pains, I wouldn't trade my life for anything.

      <3 xo!

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